inadequate.

the more i come to know the call and will of G-d, the more and more i feel inadequate. especially since i have come into a position where Jesus instructs Peter to "feed my sheep," there the call resonates in my ears as well. are we to create an environment where the yoke is hard work and the burden is heavy or dwell in the freedom that comes through Christ?

so where does my inadequacy lead into the role i am in today? it dwells in my conscience. being the body of Christ - just what the eucharist is meant to be - we're called to be the hands and feet, the sacrifice, the temple to a world in darkness.

my heart cries out for those who miss it. many christians miss it. they miss the freedom that's to come because of Christ's blood. (ephesians 2:12-13) they miss the calling that we have in the Kingdom.

how are we to live in a Kingdom that burdens the sheep? how are we to be the ones creating the burdens because the sheep listen to us? where is the freedom that comes from that? it's almost as though we're just helping them hop from slave ship to another slave ship, just covering the name on the boat that makes them think they are free.

i do not have a clear conscience. at this moment i am inadequate.