Saturday, February 20, 2010


Ahh. The paradox continues. It has been exactly 7 months since July that I haven't been employed by Life Bridge. Just as I went downstairs to get my phone I remembered the ache that had been in my hip for quite some time. It's gone now but it makes me think about Jacob wrestling with God. When I had that constant pain it reminded me of that story. My time of wrestling has since went away, as with the pain, from me but i do feel as though it has shifted to a wandering period now. I've expressed that I feel a lack of purpose, or direction for that matter, in my life that just doesn't sit right with me. The work I have been doing, hasn't filled that purpose but it has provided.
Should I be content?
Should I still continue to praise God or dare to ask for more?
Dare! Dare I say!
That is what fills my head. I desire more, not just provision but more purpose, more intentional drive of my being, of the way I'm wired. To challenge me to be a more deliberate leader, empowering others to do just the same.
How? swims around my head, far and in various ways because there is much room in there.
Wandering in the wilderness. Tempted. By sin and the lure to be my own god.
If Jesus were leading and living my life, where would he go from here? To the people, my mind says, but stick closely to your Father. He will show you...
Guide me Spirit of Truth. Grant me wisdom for I have too many brown hairs! Ha. Take me from this wilderness and guide me to a path of purpose. I see your still waters but that is my refuge. Lead me there if you may but light a fire that shows me boldness and light of your Kingdom.

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